Category Archives: Blog

4 parenting styles- which one are you?

Quiet life? No limits? No responsibilities? Your stress-free life and all other well-planned actions go surprisingly in ‘another’ direction when you become a parent. Most people think they can learn from the mistakes of their parents but it’s not quite possible to do this unless of course, you actually become a parent yourself. If you think 9 months pregnancy is difficult for you? Believe me, it’s nothing. The real test starts after 9 months and it takes all of your focus, energy and drive to raise a child that you can be proud of.

“All kids need is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them” – Magic Johnson

When you become a parent, prepare yourself for surprises because things will not always go the way you plan, in fact, most likely it will go the way your child thinks. You will need to gather all of your courage, use all of your effort, remain determined and be very very resilient if you are to even get close to raising your child flawlessly. Here are some typical parenting styles, which one would you like to be and which one is you?

Detached Parenting

Unlike most of the parents, these parents are neglectful, cold and detached from their children. They have no interest in fulfilling the basic life requirements of their children and expect them to be raised on their own. Such parents often suffer from mental health problems. It can result in children’s total detachment with their parents, poor academic performance, incorrect career choice, and stressful and insecure life.

“Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors, and providers for their children.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Helicopter Parenting

“I can do anything to make my child safe and disciplined” This is the basic rule of helicopter parenting.

Roaming around the children like a shadow and making them feel like they have been pointed at a gun point all the time. Each and every decision will be made by the parents. Their career direction, dressing style, likes and dislikes, study schedule, exercise routine, playing routine and all other major and minor things are decided by their parents with no alone time. Such authoritative behavior of such parents can either bring all the positives within the children in the form of background safety and free to take risks in life or backfire in the form of laziness, unnecessary self-awareness, no decision making power, anxiety, overcompensation, underdeveloped skills and no sense of entitlement in life.

Digital Parenting

Smartphones, iPads, internet, social media and what not! Use technology for effective and convenient parenting. This is the most advanced form of parenting. No matter where parents are, they are always connected to their children. Traditional parents cannot save your from modern forms of wrongdoings such as cyber bullying and drug addiction but this parenting type knows how to handle their children in modern life. They use different kinds of applications in order to ensure safety of their children. They are more open to positive discussions and quite accommodating to their children.

Realistic Parenting

Do what you want to do! But be responsible and learn from your mistakes. These are the parents who induce confidence in their children and allow them to take on the world the way they want to. Such parents don’t expect their children to be perfect. They are flexible, realistic and have lesser expectations from their children. This type of parenting often results in extraordinary confidence and positive decision making skills to their children. Here are some famous and popular quotations from realistic parents:

“Don’t give up until it’s done”

“Follow your passion”

“Don’t ever compare yourself to others. You have your own unique life script to pursue”

“Respect yourself and have confidence”

31 weeks and counting

So here I am 31 weeks pregnant with my third child. Not sure on a name and not feeling ready. Time is flying though! With two other children to take care of, there is not a lot of time to think about being pregnant. I feel very lucky though and  trying to take swollen ankles, cramp and insomnia in my stride!! I have made a list of what I need still- I only have a Moses basket so far! It is all becoming very real though- 9 weeks to go. Very exciting! Will the baby be early or late? What will it look like? How much will it weigh? I am sure there are lots of you out there feeling the same as me! The countdown to birth is on!!! 

Top 10 girls and boys names in the UK 2014

This is a list if the top ten girls and boys names in the UK in 2014 with their meanings and movement from 2013 indicated. For some it will be a list to avoid, for others it will be the only list to choose from…

Top ten girls’ names for 2014

  1. Sophia (+2) – Wisdom
  2. Emily (-) – Admiring
  3. Lily (+1) – Lilly flower
  4. Olivia (-3) – Peace (of the olive tree)
  5. Amelia (+2) – Industrious
  6. Isla (+2) – Island
  7. Isabella (-2) – Consecrated to God
  8. Ava (+2) – 
  9. Sophie (-)
  10. Chloe (+1)

Top ten boys’ names for 2014

  1. Muhammad (+27)
  2. Oliver (-1)
  3. Jack (-1)
  4. Noah (+5)
  5. Jacob (+2)
  6. Charlie (-3)
  7. Harry (-3)
  8. Joshua (+4)
  9. James (+1)
  10. Ethan (-2)

(Meanings coming shortly)

The Worst Advice We’ve Ever Heard About Parenting

As soon as you become pregnant you will be inundated with parenting advice, be it old wives tales, straight from the text book quotations or “What I did was…” remarks, as a new parent you will need and welcome plenty of good advice and support. Not the sort of advice you will find in this post though (the rest of the web site is perfectly fine – we promise). Here is the worst parenting advice we have ever heard.

Cut a hole in the dummy – What a great idea to stop your child from sucking the dummy – by creating a choke hazard and endangering his life. Thanks but no thanks.

Let your baby cry it out – Because she will obviously turn into a very spoilt child if she learns her parents are there for her when she needs her. We don’t want her thinking that now do we.

Wrap her up tight, she’ll sleep for longer – This may help your child sleep for longer if you wrap him so tight he is much warmer than is safe – you are also preventing the natural Moro (startle) reflex babies have up to 6 months old.

As long as the program is educational, watching television is fine. – Really? Is watching tv really the kind of interaction your newborn needs? Of all the wonderful things in the world your little one can experience and see for the first time you are going to sit him in front of a 40″ widescreen hd television are you? That sounds great. Just great. Well done you.

Don’t even consider co-sleeping – SIDS is awful. It is scary. It is a constant worry. We do not need ill informed people telling us what we can and can’t do thank you very much. You should always be aware of the risks of co-sleeping and do all you can to minimise these by creating a safe sleeping environment and following official advice.

Wait until your baby is 6 months old before you give her solid foods. – Pardon? You want me to ignore all of the cues my baby is giving me that she is ready to try some real food and instead wait until she is 6 months? 6 months may be when most children are ready but that doesn’t mean IsI have to wait if I Know my child is ready!

It didn’t do you any harm – I love this one. It didn’t do me any harm that I touched the radiator and got burnt, ate too much junk food, had whiskey rubbed on my gums, was given antihistamine to get me to sleep through and slept on a pillow from birth (those things didn’t really happen to me – well, not all of them). My point is, yes, we can survive bad things happening to us but that doesn’t make it ok to do it to someone else if you know it is wrong. We will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they didn’t know it was bad to do these things to children.

If your child pinches or bites someone, do it back to them. – And so the circle begins. Isn’t that how wars start? Deliberately hurting your child is not going to teach her anything. In fact, you are demonstrating it is ok to do this if you are upset or angry. It isn’t rocket scuence, you are your child’s first role model. Act like one.

Quite often, people are capable of offering both good and bad advice, don’t rubbish every word that comes out of someone’s mouth just because their advice on baby’s sleeping habits are a little dated. The trick to being a good parent is to filter out the rubbish, remember the good, piece it together with other bits of good advice and make your own mind up. If the advice is around your baby’s health or safety, professional advice is always recommended, although I’m sure your best friends sister has a better way of doing things!……

If you have any other ‘bad advice’ you would like to share then please leave a comment. We would to hear it (it’s always good for a laugh).

Should I Take Iron Tablets During Pregnancy?

Taking daily iron supplements during pregnancy can reduce the chances of anaemia and of you having a low birth weight baby.

Iron deficiency is one of the most common causes of anaemia in pregnant women and previous studies have suggested that there could be a link between anaemia and low birth weight. A recent study by Harvard university found that taking iron supplements – even small amounts, reduced the risk of low birth weight by 3% and anaemia by 12%. There was no link identified between taking iron supplements and a reduction in premature births.
The British medical journal recently analysed over 90 trials involving pregnant women from all over the world and concluded the following:

  • For every additional 10mg of iron taken each day (up to a maximum of 66mg per day), the risks of anaemia and low birth weight decreased
  • Birth weight was found to increase by 15g with each 10mg of iron taken per day
  • Iron deficiency is the most common cause of anaemia during pregnancy, particularly in low and middle income countries

The world health organisation currently recommends 60mg of iron a day for pregnant women

In the UK, women’s iron levels are measured at key points during pregnancy, usually at booking and again at 28 weeks. If iron levels are found to be normal, there is currently no requirement to recommend iron supplements. If iron levels are found to be low, you may then be given dietary advice or advised to take iron supplements.

Anaemia affects 1.62 billion people globally, corresponding to 24.8% of the world population. Iron deficiency is the most common cause and even in the developed world an estimated 30- 40% of preschool children and pregnant women have iron depletion.

Dietary changes alone are insufficient to correct iron deficiency anaemia, if you are thinking of trying for a baby, you should look closely at your diet and ensure you are eating enough iron rich foods.

The Royal College of Midwives state that there is perhaps a need here in the UK for us to focus on ensuring better pre-conception health, so that women contemplating pregnancy can adjust their diet to include appropriate nutrients before becoming pregnant.”

Did you take iron supplements during your pregnancy? Did you have low iron levels? Do you think all pregnant women should be advised to take iron supplements or is the current advice in the UK sufficient?

I leave you with one last quote from BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology before you decide whether or not to take iron tablets/supplements.

Anaemia in women is often associated with low birth-weight and pre-term births but that does not mean that women should be popping iron pills, or any vitamin pills, indiscriminately. Women who are not suffering from anaemia should ensure that they receive proper advice on diet and nutrition.

My aim was to provide you with enough information for you to make an informed decision, I hope I have been able to help.